Men we have to change. When thrashing through a Canadian government site I stumbled on the fact that in October we Canadians will be celebrating “Women’s History Month” http://www.swc-cfc.gc.ca/index_e.html I was stunned as I am sure will be the rest of my CFL and hockey buddies.
As a male I am not sure how to approach the event of Women’s History Month in Canada. I don’t even know what to wear. Dress in subdued colors- which means wear a plaid red moose hunting jacket from Canadian Tire? I have the same difficulty when it comes to all the other celebrations of the female – Women’s Day, Mothers’ Day, Secretaries’ Day … I am lost. Thank the heavenly mistresses and masters that I have a month to chart my course and set my male canoe through the rapids.
Today I chatted to my X gendered friends M and E and they passed on these tips. First they said dodge the bullets by being Canadian and dedicate your blog entry to mothers. (Note to self ahead of October he will stand up and dedicate the blog to mothers and possibly fathers.)
Here is what I found out from M and E regarding “Women’s History Month”:
Real mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real mothers often have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids.
Real mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of deep carpets.
Real mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade.
Real mothers know the stages of life are marked by the progression of Mama to Mum to Mother.
Real Moms know the significance of: counting the sprinkles on each child’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
Real Moms know why they hide in the toilet to be alone.
Real Moms know why they catch it when their kids throw up
Real Mums also know – deep wisdom:
Why when someone else’s kid throws up at a party they carry on eating.
Why they are pleased that tomato sauce is a vegetable because it’s the only one their child eats.
Why they can’t bear the thought of their son’s/daughters first date.
Why they can’t bear to give away the baby clothes.
Why they hear their mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when they say, “NOT in your good clothes!”
Why they stop criticizing the way their mother raised them.
Why they hire a sitter because they haven’t been out with their husband in ages, and then spend half the night checking on the kids.
Why they use their own saliva to clean their child’s face.
Why they say at least once a day: “I’m not cut out for this job”, but they know they wouldn’t trade it for anything.
And as regards the Y chromosome
No question the X’s representatives “M and E “ have set a heck of a benchmark. It’s crunch time guys. What exactly are we “Y’s” doing for Canadian Fathers month. ?. Do we even have a Fathers Month? When is it ?
Meet me in the man cave lets discuss the change